Was there ever a time in your life when you may have done something that was frowned upon by all that knew you? I wish I was smart enough to explain to you what I am thinking about, but when I scratch out a few words it always seems like I was a pretty miserable kid. I could blame my thoughts on my pop and the way he set an example for his sons to emulate. Ah, but almost everyone reading this has probably had periods in their lives that they just can’t brag about.
I was a pretty cool young person. I had two older brothers who were my heroes. Whatever they did I wanted to copy because I thought the sun rose and set upon them. It was right after my pop went away that things started to go south with me. He was my idol, and to lose his presence in my life was soul shattering.
It was just my mom, my brothers and I left living in a house that was behind on the rent. I was so confused. They had friends that drove cars and could pick up jobs that allowed them to have a few dollars in their pockets a few days out of the week. I was left going to school.
My mom was so distraught that she developed a bleeding ulcer. She was put on bed rest after she had an operation. I remember that there was food in the house, but I didn’t know how to prepare what was offered.
One morning, as I left the house to go to school, my mom asked me to take the money from her purse and buy a box of rice. You know when you are young and broke most regular things have no meaning to you. I walked north from our house on 12th Street over to Highway 466. It’s called Highway 46 now, but this was a long time ago. There were two grocery stores in Wasco in those days. Tops Market on 7th Street and the National Market, which was much bigger on the highway. It was a kind of grocery store and a Sundries store next door run by this Chinese woman.
I hated to go there because one day a year before I had tried to take something from the Sundries store without paying. She just asked me if I wanted to pay for the shoes I had on and I broke down and told her I only had money for some rice. She just said, “Put them back and don’t come in here anymore.” Now I had to go next door where the owner worked. He was a very large Asian man that I was actually very afraid of. I didn’t think he was any different from an Anglo man, just that he was very scary.
I walked into the store worried that he would have me arrested. I picked up a box of rice and was walking to the front of the store when he saw me as he was speaking with the lady from the Sundries store. I found out later that she was his wife. My legs were really shaking when I reached the checkout and placed the rice on the belt. He looked at me in a very serious manner and said, “You don’t have enough money for the rice.” At that, the tears started. I was pretty close to bolting out the door, but I knew he knew me. Wasco was a pretty small town. “Why you buy rice and not shoes?” he asked. I just stood there just thinking that I had ruined my dad’s name and that I was on my way to Juvenile Hall. “I don’t why I took the shoes,” I said, “but I need the rice to eat.”
I ask you, dear reader, have you ever been speechless? When you did something so terrible that you just couldn’t speak? Well, that’s how I felt. He just kept on ringing up customers and I just waited where he told me to stand. This felt like forever, but was probably just a couple of minutes. He turned away from me to speak to this Asian box boy who was bagging groceries for the customers and said something to him. Then he turned to me and said, “You come with me.”
I’ll be very honest. I was on the verge of running out of the store, but I just followed him to his office. He sat down and directed me to stand at the front of his desk. I was about 13 years old, but I can tell you now that nothing in my life has ever bothered me as much as standing there in shame.
He asked me where my dad was and where my mom was and how many people in my family. Was I in school and what grade? The tears had never stopped when he said to me, “You are a good boy. I’ve seen you in here before. Why do you do these things?”
I said I didn’t know. Does anyone know why or when they do something stupid? He said, “You call me Mr. Chin, you come back after school today.” When I returned, he told me to fill a basket with whatever food I needed. I had to go home and tell my mom what happened. We both cried and held each other for a while. Then she made out a list, which I filled the next day. Mr. Chin said he would fill the list on credit and that I could pay for it by working all the dirty jobs that he could find for me. He told me to polish all the tops of all the canned food that day and afterward to come back the next day.
Many years have passed and I don’t make it to Wasco anymore, but I think of Mr. Chin on occasion and remember the kindness he showed me all those years ago.
God Bless.
