It was on one of the local online groups, ordinarily used for lost dogs or downtown incidents. The lady said that she had never asked for anything before and yet she really needed some help this year for her children. She had been laid off from her job and her husband’s hours at work had been cut. Her children really needed some decent clothing. She was anonymous. “Why are you anonymous?” one person asked. “You should just stand up and let us know who you are?”
The lady replied that her children were in middle school here and she was afraid they would be further bullied, if word got out that they were poor and couldn’t afford proper clothing. This hurt my heart. It’s hard enough being a school-age child without any of the additional trimmings attached to you that might give the mean kids additional ammunition. Some of the other folks on the forum understood this too and offered help with clothing for her three children.
“Do you have a Christmas tree?” I asked her. “No,” came the reply back. Imagine seeing all the twinkly lights all around town and decorations in people’s houses and yards and not even having a tree. I went to town and found her a nice tree with some lights for the branches. Then I went to the dollar store and picked up a few decorations and gift bags. These kids were going to be getting some new clothing for Christmas. I went to Ross in Salinas, which is not for the faint of heart this time of year, and I bought each child some clothes and some for Maria, as well as a pair of slippers for her husband. Then I asked my daughter and her boyfriend to have a good clean out of their closets for this family. I was on a mission.
Sometimes, something just grabs you by the throat and tells you the person who needs to stand up and help is you. Ordinarily I am touched by an animal’s plight, less so people, because there are many services out there for people to receive help; but this situation touched me on so many levels. My child went to local schools and was bullied, and she had clothing that was just fine. She never had a home at Christmas without a tree or presents under it. The plight of these poor children really grabbed hold of me and held tight.
“My son tried to kill himself last night,” Maria tells me. The eighth grader. He tried to slash his wrists and was taken to Natividad under suicide watch. I felt the ache of a mother’s heart, any mother’s heart. Things had just gone from bad to worse under their roof.
Years ago, when I was very poor and there was nothing special going on for us around the holidays and certainly no tree or gifts to celebrate, others brought Christmas to me. Christmas came anyway. I was starting a new job, and I needed decent clothing. I did not even have good undergarments. Those were provided to me at the time by kind people who didn’t know me at all. I was able to start my new job with a decent dress and shoes, plus a new bra to keep the girls up. You may laugh at that, but it’s all true.
And I think that is what makes us human; that vein of empathy towards another human that can sometimes appear at just the right time. I took the tree, decorations, gifts and clothes to Maria and she was overwhelmed. “I can’t repay you,” she said, and I told her I didn’t want her to. I just wanted her to remember the time when she was really down and out and pay it forward if and when she is able. “Give me a hug,” I said, and she hugged me really tight. I could feel so much stress in that little body.
Those of you who know me also know that I will not be found in the pews of organized religion or the sacred pulpits of the believers out there, not my place in life. But I challenge all of you, believers or not, to step up and fund the need in your communities when you see it. Do not just put money in the plate to line the coffers of the church you frequent, adopt a family or two, donate extra food and clothing where you can. Be a part of the change you would like to see in your community where we are all supposed to be one body, helping each other for the better good. You may not know Maria or her family — neither did I — but finding a bit of Christmas in your heart has to surely be what it is all about.
I have more clothing — good stuff — to donate to Maria and her family. There is no doubt in my mind, when the children return to school, that there will be quality clothing on their backs and no ammunition for the meanies out there to torment them. They will have had a pretty decent holiday season all told. The eighth grader is getting the help he needs and things look a little more on the bright side for the entire family.
It’s the time of year to step outside of yourself and look around. Many of our farmworker families are not working currently and yet they still have children who grow and need no matter what. Think about that when you grab for the lettuce in the cool section or a large bag of oranges. Our people need our help. What could you do to make a difference this holiday season?
Make it happen. It’s that time of year.
