My oldest buddy on the planet Lizzie and I decided that, now we are living on the same land mass again, we must plan something fab every few months to get to know our adopted country a little better, plus enjoy ourselves a lot — easy for us to do — and catch up with each other away from the melee of regular life. We met up in February for a few days in New York City, oh my. (I’m still catching up on my sleep from all those adventures!) We are currently in Chicago for our second adventure of the year. We plan where we are staying and some of the key adventures to anchor our days and then we just go with the flow.
The first hood we stayed in was a leafy, walking neighborhood, deeply established and obviously beloved, with wide tree-lined roads, lots of dogs and kids, sweet parks and FRIENDLY PEOPLE! We stayed at a delightful bed and breakfast called Ray’s Bucktown B&B. I’m sure we selected it because it sounded so funky, and, indeed, it was. When I arrived at the B&B in the dead of night, I felt as if I was breaking into someone’s house. It was so homey, full of art and activism, color and light. The breakfasts were amazing too, everyone sitting together around the table chatting; no one looking at their phones and trying to be anonymous. We met a lovely couple from Singapore who had come to town to run the Marathon. She just happened to go to school in Saffron Walden, Essex, England, where I had also gone to school, class of 1974-79. The world is mad and we are much more alike than we are different. Traveling can remind you of that.
We fell quickly and deeply in love with this City. Taking an Architectural Tour by river through the downtown — under railroad bridges and beside many of the behemoth buildings of the city, you came to understand how Chicago became so industrious so swiftly and mostly stayed that way. Lizzie and I raced like two young thangs on a speed boat on Lake Michigan, which was exhilarating, and viewed the incredible skyscraper art from a distance. Superb!
One of the key notes of our trip was the visit to the newly opened Obama Presidential Center in the depths of the South Side. It is not to be missed. Even the grounds rich with fruits, vegetables and flowers are worth a visit and you don’t need tickets for that. The playground is all-inclusive and even old broads like us can go on the swings, just like we did when we were 5. The library and Presidential reading room have a wonderful vibe to them, reminding you about the community value of the library, the importance of broadening your mind and how I need to deliver the books I write to all the local libraries at home — note to self. We were reminded of the power of kindness, when we spent a few hours in the company of the Obamas inside their museum, and how “what makes America exceptional is our capacity to change.”*
Lizzie and I feasted on the cultural delights of Chicago while we were there — from the Art Institute to the Arts Center to a candlelit string quartet of the Vivaldi Four Seasons to the Robie House, designed by renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright. We loaded up our desires and feasted on at least two ticketed events a day, “ubering” all over town and occasionally even using the underground to get around. And then it was time for a bucket-listy thing for me — Jerry Seinfeld, live, at the Chicago Theater. I have not laughed so hard for so long in so long. She and I were busting our sides in the cheap seats, so wanting to remember and record everything we were listening to for a later date when things were not quite so funny. When I first came to America in 1988, I remember feeling as if I would not be able to stay very long because our sense of humor (or the British “humour”) was so very different. It was the Seinfeld show on TV that gave me hope that I could actually live here for a while, because the show really did make me laugh. Nearly 40 years on, I still love it.
Sitting on our hotel balcony near Wrigley Field revisiting our wonderful days together over a glass of deliciously chilled Italian white wine, Lizzie told me she had a writing project she needed to work on called a “Letter to my younger self.” We thought about this, we talked about this. It’s easy for us because, good and bad, we have known each other about all our lives.
And what would I say to a younger Lu?
Oh girl, don’t try to be someone you are not, just be you. Your friends and select family members are the ones who will let you be comfortable in your own skin, the ones that will laugh with you and support you no matter what; trust me on that. You won’t be as clever, successful, slim or athletic as you might like, but you are authentically you. Like yourself but be humble.
Learn a bit more about money, Lucy, so you don’t act stupidly when you have it and whittle away the pounds and pennies you will surely need down the road. Got it? With that said, do not be stingy with your money either. You have this one life and there are times when you need to be generous with yourself and others.
Be kind, always. It costs nothing and can, we hope, help the world with its ripple effect. In fact, don’t just be kind. Be surprisingly kind.
Forgive yourself for bad decisions or times when you took the wrong turn and made a mess of things. Write it down, let it go. You were younger then and less wise. Ultimately, it’s all part of life’s rich fabric and it’s all fine. Laugh at yourself and your stupidity.
Treasure your mobility. It is so very important to stay upright for as long as possible and minimize the pain old body mechanics can surely cause. You cannot know this as a young person, Lu, because right now you can run and jump and do whatever you tell your body to do. It may not always be that way, and you must be OK with the changes ageing will inevitably throw your way. Stay curious about the world, no matter what your training or degree of education. That is surely the key to keeping the old brain working and the life enhanced. My 97-year-old father has a sizzling-sharp brain certainly because he keeps using it.
Take care of your relationships! Love your people and be as kind as possible to them. Laugh with them. Take care of the animals. Do no harm on the footprints where you tread. Leave everything better than you found it.
“You are America. Unconstrained by habit and convention. Unencumbered by what is, and ready to seize what ought to be. Everywhere in this country, there are first steps to be taken, there’s new ground to cover, there are more bridges to be crossed.”
*President Barack Obama
Selma, Alabama, March 7, 2015
P.S. Also … another note to my younger self … plan the trip, make the trip, enjoy the journey. Thank you, Lizzie, for another incredible adventure, you ‘n me, friends forever, navigating this grand ol’ path of life together.
Columnist Lucy Jensen may be reached at lu*************@***il.com.
