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November 25, 2022

Funny Papers Again Column | Idiotologies vs The Review and Research Posse

In an age of universal communications via satellites circling the globe when any human on the planet who has a capable device may offer up opinions and speculations about any subject known to humankind it is not unreasonable, given the testimony of history, to assume some of these ideas will be of such content so as to stretch the mind to its furthest capacity of acceptance.

In short, there is a lot of crazy stuff on the internet. Let me pass along a couple of these offerings as they may, or may not, have passed through the ether:

1. Celebrity Fame Revealed

Do you ever wonder how some people become famous but have zero talent? It is a known fact in the late 1930s three scientists in a country that cannot be named for fear of reprisal discovered a small entity within our solar system, which they first thought was nothing more than collected gases, but upon further investigation they discovered it was of a gelatinous nature, more blob than solid matter, but seemed to be inhabited by creatures with the same jelly-type body.

After months of observation the scientists documented that the populace of what was now deemed, by them, a planet was amorphous and could, chameleon-like, replicate whatever object they observed; much like the “shape shifters” of some Native American cultures. According to the scientists’ global rotation calculations, the planet would pass closest to Earth on Feb. 4, 1944, its closest point directly above a hospital in Los Angeles, Calif., USA. It is believed that on this occasion a creature from the planet occupied the body of a newborn male infant at that facility.

In the early morning hours of New Year’s Day 1944, after a night of celebration, an unexplained fire took the lives of the three scientists and destroyed all compiled data. A short note naming the planet written to a friend by one of the scientists was the only remaining evidence of their undisclosed discovery, and as result the world would never learn what became of the planet the scientists dubbed “Kardashia.”

Posse results of research re: Celebrity Fame Revealed

There is no known phenomenon between a verified body in space and the birth of Robert George Kardashian (1944-2003).

2. Oregon Hikers Encounter Strange ‘Something’

There is an explanation of what creature these unsuspecting hikers came across, but governments around the world have hidden the true story. It is a known fact that just after the turn of the 20th century at a convention of genetic scientists in Paris, France, there was a paper submitted that outlined a process by which human genes could be spliced with primate genes thus producing a human being with the capabilities of a primate; a combination thought by the geneticist author to produce a manageable race to be used as working class for menial labor and soldiering.

The author of the paper, a scientist from China, had his paper and his ideas rejected by the scientific community, but volumes of his research and initial findings of experiments were copied by some of those attending the conference and were taken with them back to their home countries. What the research revealed was that the Chinese scientist had separated the DNA from a creature found frozen in a cave about 26 miles (41 kilometers) east of Mount Everest in Nepal.

Based on findings from other parts of China, speculation is the creature may have been a preserved Bunopithicus sericus. It is then believed he attempted to cross this DNA with tribesmen of the area for a number of years before submitting his findings at the 1912 convention. The scientist died in 1916 and a subsequent search of his abandoned facility, the Yuang Experimental and Testing Institute, led authorities to believe there were numerous studies done on human subjects, and subsequently the facility and all documents were destroyed by government authorities.

But oral history recounts testimony of local residents who reported hearing loud primal screams and odors described as “musky” and “like a dirty wet dog” coming from the compound where barracks sat alongside the laboratory. A handful of Sherpas had for years reported smells and sounds in the upper reaches of the Himalayas, and of seeing large human-like footprints in the snow. It is not known how many foreign scientists who availed themselves of the Yuang research papers conducted their own experiments nor what if any results may have occurred.

Posse results of research re: Oregon Hikers Encounter Strange ‘Something’

There is no known evidence of any research by any genetic scientists in the early part of the 20th century in any country involving gene splicing humans with other species (see Myths: Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti).

3. The Kallstadt Curse

It is a known fact in the witch haven of Bad Durkheim Palatinate in Rhineland-Germany that a sorceress by the name of Juliana Maria Rodenroth (born circa 1667-70) pronounced a curse upon the family of her grandson when he married below his station in life and moved from the ancient land of his ancestors, many of whom were considered practitioners of occultism and witchery, to Kallstadt Palatinate of the Kingdom of Bavaria.

Oral tradition of the area relates the curse was that within her grandson’s lineage there would be one born who would by inherited bounty and nefarious means rise to great power only to use that power to bring about great shame upon her grandson’s name and the name of his heirs for generations to come.

Posse results of research re: The Kallstadt Curse

As yet all data has yet to be compiled upon the generations of Juliana Maria Rodenroth, the mother of Johann Sebastian Trump (1699-1756) (see Select Committee Hearing to Investigate the January 6 Attack on the United States Capitol).

***

I don’t usually get political, but c’mon folks, sometimes there is just an abundance of honest people giving honest account about a dishonest human being.

Take care. Peace.

Steve Wilson
King City and Greenfield Columnist

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